והא מקום שנהגו להחזיר מחזירין קתני הכי קאמר וסבלונות ודאי מקום שנהגו להחזיר מחזירין
R. Nathan holds the opinion that [a token of] betrothal is not unreturnable,<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' Lit., 'given for sinking'. i.e., 'that it be not returned under any conditions whatsoever.
');"><sup>20</sup></span> and R. Judah the Prince holds the opinion that [a token of] betrothal is unreturnable. But surely it was taught. 'Where it is the custom to return. it [must] be returned'!<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' And, as was stated above, even R. Judah agrees on this point
');"><sup>21</sup></span> — He means this: And [as regards the] gifts.<span class="x" onmousemove="('comment',' The Sablonoth, dona sponsalitia (v. infra p. 628, n. 6). which the groom gives to the bride after betrothal, not forming part of the legal token of betrothal.
');"><sup>22</sup></span>
Tosefta Pesachim
In a place where their custom is to return the betrothal money [if the betrothed man or woman died before the marriage was consummated], they return it. In a place where their custom is not to return the betrothal money, they do not return it. In a place where their custom is to stand up and sit down [for eulogies at a funeral], they stand up and sit down. In a place where their custom is to not do it, they do not do. [Even where the custom is to stand up and sit down for eulogies,] one does not stand up and sit down more than seven times. In a place where their custom is to greet mourners on the Sabbath, they greet them. In a place where their custom is not to greet, they do not greet. In a place where the custom is for the mourners to walk behind the dead [in a funeral procession], they walk [behind them]. In a place where the custom is to not walk, they do not walk. In a place where their custom is to light candles on Yom Kippur Eve, they light candles. In a place where their custom is not to light, they do not light. Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says, we light [candles] in inns and in mikvehs [on Yom Kippur Eve]. Those of whom it was said "they light," and those of whom it was said, "they do not light," they only said it in order [that people not become] accustomed to sin.
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